1. I get so annoyed with myself all of the time. I start the day off well, lunch is on point and then… it all goes to shite. I get bored at work and dream about what I could eat, fortunately I’m too lazy and broke to buy something on the way home but I get home and I binge. Today I couldn’t even be bothered working out.

    I ate. And ate. And then I had desert. I felt like crap but I kept going. It’s so frustrating!

    I know that the beginning is super hard and that it takes a while for all the effort to turn into actual progress. I know that if I focused and worked hard for 3 months that it would make a huge difference. But how do I keep my motivation up for more than a couple of days?

    Anyway, I pulled out my veg and made a salad to take to work tomorrow, along with some egg muffin things and tomorrow I will go for another swim.

    I can’t change tonight but I can at least try to prepare for success tomorrow.

     


  2. Coffee date time because we need a wee catch up!

    • I started a temp job on Friday! It’s only for 2 weeks and it’s probably the most boring job I’ve ever had but… money!! And routine!
    • Getting up in the morning is hard! And it’s dark at 6am which is so sad - summer is definitely coming to an end.
    • I went for a swim tonight. I am so sore. I also saw my old swim coach at the pool. I haven’t seen her in forever (12 years) but it was great to catch up and to hear what her swimmers are now up to.
    • I always get really worried that people won’t remember who I am. Does anyone else get that? I never assume that people know me even if I’ve met them before and it always surprises me when they do. To say that my heart was racing when I went to say ‘Hi’ to my old coach is an understatement but I really shouldn’t have been nervous at all.
    • My Dad is currently in Cuba, my Mum is in San Francisco (after a month of skiing in Utah and Colorado) and my sister, brother and sister in-law are heading to Samoa tomorrow. No, I’m not jealous, not at all….
    • I currently have the house all to myself and I have been adulting hard! Healthy meals, rubbish and recycling done, vacuumed and cleaned. Now I just have to wash my car.

    I felt like I had a million things to say but I’m exhausted and my brain is dying so I think it’s time to head to bed.

    I hope you’re all having a great start to the week! xx

     


  3. I feel like this year is going too fast and that I have achieved too little.

    I feel like I am stagnant. Like I am not achieving anything.

    I have hopes and dreams but I can’t see how to make them become a reality.

    I think that I should stop worrying and instead start focusing on the small things again.

    When I turned 29 last year I made a list of things I wanted to complete before my 30th birthday. Some things I won’t be able to do because of timing (pick strawberries and re-start dragon boating) and to be honest I don’t mind! But I do think it would be fun to revisit the list and make a bit of a concerted effort to work my way through it. Who knows, by putting myself out there and by having fun doing these small things, I may start to figure out the bigger picture…

    1. Have a dinner party - had an Indian dinner party February 2014
    2. Knit a scarf
    3. Run in a 5 km race
    4. Learn to surf
    5. Go horse riding
    6. Go on a vineyard tour - winetasting in Waiheke December 2013
    7. Go to a ballet
    8. Go on a road trip
    9. Start swimming again - started swimming in January 2014
    10. Do a photography course
    11. Start learning Spanish
    12. Go on at least 3 weekend trips to somewhere new - The Cotswolds August 2013, India November-December 2013
    13. Start dragon boating again 
    14. Get a facial
    15. Start a vege garden
    16. Go strawberry picking
    17. And then make some strawberry jam
    18. Read at least 3 non-fiction books - The Power Of Habit by Charles Duhigg
    19. Go to the theatre in NZ
    20. Go black water rafting
    21. Go white water rafting
    22. Try 3 new foods -Quinoa, Umbles (aka offal, aka that time I ate duck’s heart), half of the food I tried in India!!
    23. Make it into a newspaper/magazine/online publication for something
    24. Volunteer somewhere for at least a day
    25. Go to 5 gigs - Laura Marling October 2013, Bruce Springsteen March 2014
    26. Buy and wear a pair of high heels - Bought heels in August, finally wore them February 2014
    27. Try crossfit at least once
    28. To write out and complete my London bucket list - the list was written out but only half completed… this means that I will just have to go back to the UK!
    29. To be the best version of myself
     

  4. As I said yesterday, my goal this week is to be positive. What I do, what I say and how I act can affect people and it can affect how my day goes.

    Since yesterday evening I have been mindful and I have been positive. I feel so much better, like a weight has lifted from my chest. Not everything can be how I want it to be but my attitude will change my experiences.

    Other happy news for today:

    • I got a job!!!! It’s only a contract job but at least I will have some money coming in and I think it will be good experience. I start on Friday so I will be making the most of the next two days being (f)unemployed!!
    • I went for another 2.4km swim. Today the pool was 50m (Olympic size) and man it was harder! My fitness is definitely improving though and I’m slowly starting to feel good in the water.
    • I hung out with my brother this afternoon and….
    • His puppy! Diesel went in for the big snip today, he also had two baby teeth removed and had his microchip inserted. He was dopey and cuddly and so, so cute. Poor little dude!
    • We watched the second to last episode of 'True Detective' tonight. It’s SO good!! It’s weird watching a tv show one episode every week, I like the anticipation and that we all discuss each episode but I also feel like I am missing things that I wouldn’t if I watched it all in one go. Maybe I’ll watch it all over again soon…

    I hope you all had wonderful, positive days too xx

     

  5. My goal this week is to be POSITIVE!

    I’ve been a bit of a downer recently and I also haven’t been my nicest self to my Dad’s girlfriend and her son. I need to learn that I can’t control everything and that sometimes it’s just best to go with the flow. I’ve also been having these angry and/or self-pitying monologues which get me all worked up and achieve absolutely nothing!

    I need to stop it and was thinking of trying some mindfulness techniques. Does anyone have any suggestions?

    Also, my Sunday was great. I hung out with my Dad and pretended to be my sister at the gift trade fair - which is my new favourite thing and I’ve decided on at least 3 awesome shops I could open! And then we went to the Bruce Springsteen concert (pictured above) - it was amazing and I am so, so lucky!

     

  6. Flashback Friday aka ‘That Time I Went To India, Rode A Bike And Crashed’

    My shoulder is being a pain in the ass at the moment. I went for another swim today and swam 2.4k, the most I’ve swum in a very long time. My 100m pace even came down to 1.21-1.24 today, I’m pretty happy! But as I said my shoulder gets sore, especially when I’m doing backstroke. 

    So, today I thought I’d share the story (and some photographic proof) of my adventure riding a motorbike in India…

    This happened in Hampi where there’s not much else to do once you’ve seen the elephant, market and ruins. So we hired bikes. This was my first time ever on a bike, so I was a bit nervous but figured that if some of the others could do it, I could too. After being told how to start it off we went down the (extremely) pot-holed road. The first part was terrifying but I got my confidence and everything was going well. After a break we went out riding with our whole group to a dam and then up to a temple. It was getting dark and we had no idea if our headlights worked so my friend and I decided to head back early. We went down the drive, turned right onto the main road and my accelerator got stuck. I freaked out, screamed, and bailed into a ditch. Luckily some very nice men helped my bike and I up and my friend came back for me. I was shaken but thought I was fine, it turned out that I was covered in cuts, including ones on my face and all over my arms, I’m lucky I had long pants on! I ended up doubling back on my friends bike as it was now dark, she also made me ride the last bit back by myself so that I wouldn’t be scared for next time. Fortunately the cuts on my face went pretty quickly but I still have a few scars on my arms, and as you can see from above I ended up with some pretty mean bruises. That one on my thigh is still visible, which isn’t surprising as that’s what it looked like the next morning and it only proceeded to get worse - I really should have taken more photo’s! I’ll definitely go on a motorbike again just maybe not in India!

     


  7. Random thoughts for a Thursday evening:

    • Today my Dad and I helped my brother clean his flat, dusting, mopping and scrubbing the toilet is a definite work out!
    • This morning I went for a walk around the ‘block’. I live in the bush so today I took a new route that took me up through the bush, past a small waterfall and up some pretty steep switchbacks before heading back home the easy way. I’m trying to make the most of my time at my Dad’s house.
    • I’ve been eating crap recently. I really need to stop it.
    • I think I’m a wee bit stressed. My bank balance tells me that I really need a job but my mind is telling me how sick I am of doing boring jobs. I want a career but I have no idea what I want to do. At this point just getting a job would be a good start.
    • I have another interview lined up for next week and I should hear about my last one tomorrow - fingers crossed!
    • I’m not liking my living situation at the moment. I love living with my Dad but I’m not a fan of his girlfriend. I’m trying to suck it up but I think it’s contributing to my stress levels.
    • The upside is that I don’t like being at home when my Dad’s not around so I’ve been doing lots of exercise and some exploring.
    • My Mum is currently skiing in Utah, yesterday she went to Sundance ski field and met Robert Redford!! So cool that I had to share!
    • I watched Blackfish’ yesterday, it’s a documentary about Orca’s, specifically about those in theme parks. It’s really good but make sure you have some tissues at hand!

    Anyway, that’s all for tonight. I hope that didn’t come across as too whiny as I am enjoying myself at the moment! Not everything is perfect but I’m trying to actively stop the negative thoughts so that I don’t get stressed over things that I cannot control. I must remember that… ‘everything is temporary’ especially my living situation!

     

  8. Today my (younger) brother and his wife moved into their first home. To say that I’m excited for them is an understatement, they are two of my favourite people and I’m so happy for them! But I do have to admit that I feel like I’m a wee bit behind, especially as my (younger) sister also owns a house! I have wanted to have my own place for ages but the lure of travel has always come first. For the past year though I have really been feeling the need to start nesting - although according to my Pinterest boards it’s been well over two years!!

    Anyway, today I helped my brother move. It was just the two of us until 3pm and we did about 3/4’s of it. My brother was so impressed with my lifting skills that he told my Dad! Needless to say that moving today was my workout and I’m sure my arms will be feeling it tomorrow!!!

    I can’t wait to move into my own place but seeing as that won’t be a reality anytime soon I will continue to daydream about bungalows and art deco buildings, fairy lights and libraries, walls full of windows, long, long dining tables, fields of hydrangeas, art on my walls, beautiful china, amazing wall papers, indoor plants and pretty much everything else that is wonderful and gorgeous!!

     

  9. Today was one of those crazy Auckland summer days where you pull out your jeans and cardi and order a hot chocolate instead of an orange juice when you go out in the morning, but by the evening you’re in your singlet and shorts and are off for a walk in the bush!

    I saw the above quote on my ‘Inspiration’ board on Pinterest and I think my future self will be happy with the choices I made today!

    I met my good friend for the hot chocolate mentioned above this morning. She now lives in Australia and unfortunately I don’t get to see her very often, but when I do it’s like we saw each other the week before. I have a few friends like this and I love it, especially after so many years living and travelling overseas!

    I then went for a swim. My brother bailed on me for the 3rd week in a row (he’s far too interested in crossfit these days!), this time though I took myself to the pool and swam 2 km. It wasn’t the fastest but I did do some 100’s where I did 50m pace/ 50m easy and my overall 100 time was around 1.28 which isn’t too bad. When I was India I crashed my motorbike (oops!) and I have hurt my shoulder a bit, it doesn’t seem to be getting better so I’m going to talk to my sister-in-law tomorrow, shes a physio so hopefully she might be able to help! I mostly notice it when I’m swimming and seeping on my side, it’s been 3 months now and I don’t want it to get any worse!

    I had an exceptionally lazy afternoon but I made up for it by going for a 6.4 km walk with my Dad in the evening. If you haven’t noticed yet, I live in a very beautiful but very hilly part of Auckland! Fortunately tonight we went for a walk by the water station which is super flat, it was wonderful! And super busy - I’m still getting (re)used to smiling and saying ‘Hi’ to everyone you go past!

    I hope you all did something today that your future self will thank your for! xx

     

  10. I’ve had a pretty great past couple of days! Here are my highlights…

    Sat: I went for a walk around the ‘block’ the opposite way to normal, which meant that there was less time going uphill but when I was it was super steep! It was great! It was also a ridiculously humid day (Auckland got to 98% humidity or something cray!!) so I went and chilled at a friends house where we watched a movie, ate a-mazing nachos and binged on Girls. It was wonderful..

    Sun: I went for another walk around home but this time up a semi-hidden track through the bush. Again it was killer steep and humid but my Dad joined me and we had a good chat. We then went out for lunch and bought a mirror for my room (a belated Christmas present) so now I can finally get ready in my room which is nice and cool (compared to the bathroom!). We then had my Grandparents and brother over for dinner where our spare ribs were a complete fail but everything else was delicious. Also, my brothers puppy came, and he is my favourite.

    Mon: Today I had an interview. I have no idea how it went but fingers crossed as I looked at my bank balance this afternoon and there’s pretty much nothing in there - oops!! I then went for a walk out in the Waitakere’s which is chain of hills near where I live. It’s beautiful!! I am absolutely in love with being in the bush around here. I then took myself on a drive where I went down a wrong road that was super narrow and twisty and scary! After awhile I gave up and went another way to a beach I haven’t been to in forever. It was gorgeous and practically empty (as you can see above).

    I hope everyone else had a lovely weekend too! xx

    Photos:

    1- Auckland Harbour and a slice of Rangitoto

    2- Auckland city skyline

    3- A view from the Waitakeres looking at Manukau Harbour and one of the dams

    4- Karekare beach - black sand, rough surf, blue blue skies!!!